The battle rages on for possession of the neutrally named Liancourt Rocks, situated halfway between mainland Korea and Japan.

Depending on who you talk to the rocks go by different names. Ask a Korean person and they call it Dokdo, and they swear on pain of death or painful beating that it is Korea’s easternmost island. Ask a Japanese person and they will call is Takeshima. They will simply insist, without pain or death, that it’s Japan’s westernmost island before Korea.

At the moment the islands have a Korean police station that rotates around 50 or so officers. There are also two permanent Korean residents on the island who double as the most law abiding two people in the world. Plans are in the works to add a resort to these islands as well as running water.

Living in Korea, it’s almost impossible to find a balanced internet perspective on the islands, let alone one from a person. Every website trots out the same information about why the islands are part of Korea: proximity and history. Are the islands physically closer to Korea? Yes. Does Korea have a valid historical point in regards to ownership or the islands? Again, yes. Do either of these things matter? No.

If there are two things that don’t matter when deciding territory it’s proximity and history.

Nations are always claiming and annexing territories that aren’t closer to them. Ever hear of Hawaii? History doesn’t matter either. Parts of Southern California, New Mexico and Arizona all used to be part of Mexico. Before that they were part of the native tribes that lived there, until the Spanish came and took land that was waaaay out of their proximity.

When it comes to territory there are two things that matter: money and military. Can you buy the land? Can you take or defend the land?

I doubt that neither Japan nor Korea would stoop so low as to purchasing the land from the other country. Neither will they actually resort to bloodshed. It is, after all, a very small island with little value beyond fishing and national pride.

So the two countries will resort to diplomatic negotiating. How boring. I have a suggestion to make this more interesting.

Let’s take a lesson from the states of Michigan and Ohio who argued over the thin strip of land at the southern part of Michigan during the “Toledo War.” As a final end to the conflict the piece of land was awarded to Ohio. In exchange, Michigan got the Upper Peninsula as a consolation, which was effectively taken away from Wisconsin. Wisconsin got nothing.

So I propose that Korea and Japan simply decide once in for all who will get the Liancourt Rocks while the other gets a suitable consolation prize, coming from some uninterested third party. Perhaps best of three match of “Rock, Scissors, Paper,” to decide who gets the islands.

The loser can have Taiwan.